Today’s guest post is contributed by our new Growing Champions for Life team member, Donna Bollinger — athlete, speaker, coach, and parent of four athletic children.
In the last football game of the season Ben, my son, was striving to prove himself a worthy ball handler on a long pass play. With graceful speed he was down field ready for the ball which was heading just inside the sidelines. He reached high and far for the ball, willing it into his hands, only to be tackled mid-air and brought down hard on the well packed dirt of the sidelines. Eager to get up he was advised to stay down. The only sound he heard before realizing he did not have the ball was the sound of shoulder pads smashing together.
As he lay on the ground across the field all I could think was to stay calm and pray. He was giving it all he had and, as a mom I started worrying not only about his body but also about his spirit. Calmly making my way over, realizing this was probably going to be a trip to the ER, I felt a familiar feeling that all would be well.
A while back I decided to stop asking why things happen but instead ask, what are we supposed to learn from these things. Looking at Ben it was very obvious that his collar bone was severely broken and he was going to need surgery. Of course this news was very disappointing to him. Just recovering from surgery myself, and recently getting off my crutches, I excitedly said to Ben; “Now you get to experience the joy of recovery,” and I meant it with all of my heart. As circumstances unfolded I felt as though things were exactly as they were supposed to be and even as they needed to be.
It takes faith to understand and accept those times when we get hurt. It takes faith to trust your doctors and the course of action. It takes faith and patience to enjoy the down time and it takes faith to know that you will be able to give up the crutch or sling and move freely again. In that time of recovery, stillness and reflection can lead you down the road of discovery. No matter how hard you strive or how positive you think, injuries, pain and hurt happen. If you force or resent the recovery you will only set yourself back. I believe that when we are still we can learn to listen to our heart and work on our mind, and in time we will be happy with what we find.
With a titanium plate in place and a sling doing its job, Ben discovered a good situation in which to heal while continuing to learn a new skill. At the invitation of a friend Ben now finds himself positioned on the sidelines as a coach for a younger team of boys. What an awesome plan we’ve watched unfold as our son takes all that pent up enthusiasm and uses it to teach younger players the skills he has learned.
Injuries do not have to overwhelm us or keep us from striving. Recovery is a valuable process that makes us more courageous in every area of our lives, if, and only if, we trust the process and humble ourselves to the lessons to be learned. Learning to listen to your inner voice and relying on solid resources are paramount. In her book “The Language of Letting Go” by Melody Beattie, the author explains that our willingness and capacity to feel hurt can eventually be matched by our willingness and capacity to feel joy in any situation.
Ben sustained a painful injury, but as the healing is taking place he has learned to keep his head up and his mind open to a new experience of joy. He can now carry this lesson with him throughout his lifetime (along with that titanium plate) and not let the fear of getting hurt, pain and disappointment stop him in his tracks. Through his injury he is learning to inspire others and find the amazing joy it brings. So I’ve learned not to feel sorry for my son. We learned there was a plan in place in which discovery was a gift hidden in recovery! – Donna Bollinger
Great article, Donna! Very uplifting!