Thou Shalt Not Jive Thyself
Dr. Ignaz Semmelweis delivered babies at Vienna’s General Hospital in the mid-1800s. He also had responsibilities doing research on cadavers when he wasn’t delivering babies. One in ten women died giving birth in his ward, while a second maternity ward staffed by mid-wives had a much lower mortality rate. He couldn’t figure out why. Then Semmelweis left Vienna for a four-month visit to another hospital. When he returned he discovered the mortality rate had improved dramatically while he was gone. Suddenly Semmelweis had to ask himself a tough question. What part did he play in this terrible problem? When he realized that the primary difference between his work and the work of the mid-wives was that he spent extra time working on cadavers, and they did not, Semmelweis developed his theories about the existence of germs. He determined that tiny diseased particles were being carried from the cadavers to the healthy patients on his own hands! This discovery led to the practice of doctors scrubbing their hands to get rid of germs. But think of how Semmelweis felt when he realized his own contribution to the death rate.The true answer to the problem was found only when he asked the most important question: “What part of this problem is caused by me?”
Deception is common, but self-deception is seldom recognized. Have you ever been upset with a situation involving your child, and then discovered YOU caused the problem without realizing it? Everyone likes to be “Right” rather than “Wrong”. The problem is that we place such a premium on being “right” that we lose the humility to consider the possibility of being “wrong!” So, we blame, we finger point, and we excuse ourselves, when instead, we could look in the mirror and ask the question: “What part of this situation belongs to me?” You can minimize these little dramas in all your relationships if you’re willing to look for, and accept, your responsibility.
First, ask this question out loud, and then listen to the internal answer that naturally comes. “In what way did I offend someone, add confusion, or mis-communicate in this situation?” Or, “What part did I play that contributed to this?”
Secondly, begin writing to record those thoughts that come from within. Answering our own questions honestly works best when we write them down. Writing our thoughts activates the right hemisphere of the brain and reveals more truth, and less self-denial. We have some really good answers locked inside of us, just waiting for a really good question to be asked. So, ask it!! Try this simple two-step process to replace self-denial with something closer to the truth.
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"Give Your Child Emotional Intelligence for Sports and Life"
Thursday, June 21st
9:00 pm EST
45-minute live webinar plus Q&A with David!
Movies: Our Top 5 True Stories on Film
It’s hard to deny the power of a captivating story, told well. Perhaps, that is why movie nights are such a great pastime and memory maker for so many families. Watching a true story with a compelling message can open a door to a unique teaching moment between you and your children. Here are our favorites (in no particular order), and the primary lesson of each one.
“Hoosiers” - Keep your eyes on the goal, not the obstacles
“42” - Learning self-control in the face of unfairness and persecution
“Miracle” - The results of teamwork are more than the sum of the individual players
“Chariots of Fire” - Honoring your values, at all times
“Remember the Titans” - Accepting others in spite of differences
Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
After decades of research, world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., discovered a simple but groundbreaking idea: the power of mindset. In this brilliant book, she shows how success in school, work, sports, the arts, and almost every area of human endeavor can be dramatically influenced by how we think about our talents and abilities. People with a fixed mindset—those who believe that abilities are fixed—are less likely to flourish than those with a growth mindset—those who believe that abilities can be developed. Mindset reveals how great parents, teachers, managers, and athletes can put this idea to use to foster outstanding accomplishment.
“To be a visionary parent, we need to keep working on ourselves, becoming forever new and improved.”