There's a story about a lumberjack in Stephen Covey's book, "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People," that will resonate with any parent who feels pressed for time.
A man walking through the forest comes upon a frustrated lumberjack.The lumberjack was trying to cut down a tree with a saw and was swearing and cursing as he labored in vain.
"What's the problem?" The man asked.
"My saw's blunt and won't cut the tree properly." The lumberjack responded.
"Why don't you just sharpen it?"
"Because then I would have to stop sawing." Said the lumberjack.
"But if you sharpen your saw, you could cut more efficiently and effectively than before."
"But I don't have time to stop!" The lumberjack retorted, getting more frustrated.
The man shook his head and kept on walking, leaving the lumberjack to his pointless frustration.
My question for you is this: Does your parenting "saw" need sharpening, or are you thinking you don't have time for that?
Your parenting "saw" is used every day as you:
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Handle sibling conflicts
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Solve behavioral problems
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Give your children the necessary feedback
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Communicate parenting decisions
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Influence the culture of your home
How much more effective and efficient could you be as a mom or dad if you took some time to sharpen your skills? What are the long-term costs of neglecting your own development as a parent or spouse? Every parent needs enhanced skills as their children grow up and new circumstances arrive in sports and school.
Here are some suggestions that will help you grow. Choose as many items from this list that fit your appetite and your growth goals. Be sure to choose at least one that challenges you to change a habit or to become a little uncomfortable.
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Spend 10 minutes in quiet reflection, prayer, or meditation at the beginning of each day. Research has shown that the most successful people begin their day this way.
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Attend one educational webinar each month that focuses on parenting strategies. Growing Champions for Life offers one this month on January 23rd at 9:00 PM (Eastern) Register here for "From Good to Great in Four Steps"
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Listen to a podcast once per week by an author or expert you enjoy.
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Watch a YouTube video or TED Talk twice per week by experts like Brene' Brown, Marianne Williamson, Ken Robinson, or Angela Duckworth. Find someone you like and whose values align with yours.
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Spend 15 minutes each day reading a non-fiction book that stretches your understanding of parenting and life. Just before falling asleep is an excellent time for this. Start with a book like "Parenting with Love & Logic" by Jim Fay, or "The Whole-Brain Child" by Daniel Siegel. If you prefer, get the audio versions and listen in the car while driving. Turn your car into a rolling university.
The first benefit of engaging in any of these practices is the stimulation your mind will receive by learning something new and using the strategies in your parenting. The second and equally important benefit is the example it sets for your children. The habit of tapping these readily available resources shows your children that you are a learner and that learning is what life is all about. The ripple effect of this life-lesson is huge and could have an effect for generations.
If your "saw" is getting dull, take the time to sharpen the blade